10.13.2018

on forgiving

I was awakened six times by my restless child until the grand mal finally took hold. From three-thirty on I got no sleep at all, next to me my boy waking every several minutes pressing his eyes, his heart pounding. It seems the Palmetto Harmony CBD oil I gave him after the fit may have thwarted subsequent ones. If nothing else, at least the cannabis appears forgiving, its side effects mild if not often positive compared with other antiepileptic drugs known for their mind-numbing, body-clobbering impact.

Resting next to him, I mused on the word, forgive, and its derivatives. To ask for forgiveness requires courage and humility in admitting our transgressions. To be forgiving is to offer understanding, while allowing space for mistakes made, and perhaps recognizing and admitting our own. Forgiveness might just save us from ourselves and others, assuming it is asked sincerely and given with grace and mercy, rather than with spite and reproach.

Calvin is no doubt the most forgiving soul I know. I take lessons from him, try to emulate the stamina of his kindness, his eternal forgiveness in the face of my anger and frustration. Unconditionally, he forgives my every flaw with or without my asking. He is inspirational. My muse. My hero. He allows me to forgive even myself.

Photo by Michael Kolster

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