stream of consciousness

It has been four weeks since Calvin's last partial complex seizure. Two-and-a-half weeks since eliminating his CBD oil. Trying hard to focus on his good days rather than focusing on harbingers of seizures to come. Enjoyed a bourbon with Woody, who lovingly calls me a twerp with his Maine accent. I tease him by asking, "what is a twupp?" Our good buddy Roger broke his upper arm in three places and is in a kind of prison that I know all too well. Hopefully we'll be seeing him and his wife, and maybe his kids, soon. Had a great night last night with two of our besties. On the drive home we could have hit some youngsters who appeared out of nowhere stumbling across the dark road. A few miles further we saw a homeless woman seated cross-legged on the shoulder of the road. She was rocking. We turned around and picked her up and drove her back to her tent behind the U-Haul site. She was crying. We gave her some hot dog buns. She can't eat the spinach and tomatoes we had because she suffers from Crohn's. I told her cannabis works well for the disease and she said, "I know, but I can't smoke it because I have kids." I told her she can ingest it. I had a good day today. I saw James, a homeless man I met not too far back. He got a job at my friend Tony's deli. He starts Monday. I was so glad to see him. He told me to say hi to Calvin. I finally spent some time in the garden giving some food to rhododendrons and perennials. It felt good to work in the soil. My arm is slightly sore. Feels good. The grass is almost green. Michael got his motorcycle out today. I love my hubby who is making chicken and dumplings as we speak. It is cold and windy outside. We have a fire in the wood stove. Calvin is about to come out of the johnny-jump-up. He is repetitively humming. Today is day eight since his last seizure. I expect one to come soon. Night before last I woke myself up shouting in my sleep having dreamt that he and a grand mal. College students are walking by in the field behind our house. I like that. The light is dimming. Jazz is playing. Chicken is sizzling. Bourbon is sweet on my lips. I've been drinking less these days. I'm on my way to San Francisco on Thursday. I am elated and frightened. It will be okay. Nellie is the best dog in the world.

Photo by Michael Kolster

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