day six

Day six came too quick, too close on the heels of what was day five and on a day which, usually, is nearly mid-stretch.

My guess is that the most recent five-percent wean of benzodiazepine ten days ago is what caused these seizures to be so tightly knit, though, perhaps Calvin is ill again, or maybe puberty or growth spurts are to blame. Whatever the culprits, the scene is damn disheartening. But I try to console myself knowing that because of the extra cannabis at bedtime, my boy only suffered one seizure this morning and, since we’ve begun giving him extra Keppra on grand mal days, he hasn’t had any partial seizures in their wake.

Regardless, it never gets any easier to hear my sweet boy cry out in the darkness, to see him shudder and shake, to see and hear his wrists knocking on the bed sideboard, to hear his strident breathing and whimpering in the tempest’s aftermath, and to witness him rub his head and cry in pain.

Photo by Michael Kolster

1 comment:

  1. Remarkable photo and the perfect accompaniment to your powerful words. I think a book is in order