a good day for musing

it's a good day for musing: on crystalline skies and arctic climes; on bundling up and trudging down open roads; on icy patterns fanning across salt-blanched tarmac and pristine white ponds; on a twenty-something runner with thick-braided pigtails jogging past me, smiling and breathing in time with her rock star companion, steven tyler; on a place so calm the music still found my ears from half a mile down the road.

it's a good day for musing: on the beauty of a frozen tidal cove; on its greenish gash resembling a clownish mouth, white pancake makeup and all; on its vast flatness; on the footprints of those who dared walk across as it invisibly ebbed and flowed; on the marvel of ever-changing landscapes; on two huge birds perched atop a gnarly oak; on their wide wings and undersides white as snow; on a skinny dog who runs to my side from the middle of the road whenever i call; on the musky scent of weed wafting from an open window of a passing truck; on having—only minutes before—filtered some alcohol-soaked bud in the making of calvin's cannabis oil, filling the house with its rich aroma.

it's a good day for musing: on freezing cold fingers sheathed in polypropylene gloves; on unknown yet friendly ones which wave to me from behind windshields; on the satisfying click of my panasonic's shutter when i push its shiny metal button; on finding someone's running shoes which had been buried in the blizzard then unearthed by a passing plow; on who might be missing them: perhaps a pigtailed runner?

it's a good day for musing: on juniors and seniors; on having known them and watched them grow; on infants and toddlers who turn into runners, skiers, skaters; on grade schoolers who morph into gawky tweens and smart, creative, athletic teens; on ellis, a sweet, curious and extraverted girl—calvin's first grade classmate, his first and only play date; on her mother, who stops by sometimes with flowers, jars of homespun applesauce or tins filled with herbal salve; on the bit of my childhood self who i see reflected in ellis—her effervescence, wit, energy, and unabashedness; on ellis' friend fiona, with whom i used to read books at school as calvin flailed, who now—all of a sudden—seems so grown up.

it's a good day for musing: on finnegan and his mother; on bringing the world to her in loving words and photographs; on our picnic and long walk one evening last summer; on reliving the feeling of jumping with her in the dark from a nearby bridge into brackish waters while wearing almost nothing; on the freeing feeling of trusting others; on laughter and weeping; on the sensuality of maine's extreme weather—heavy and sweltering at times, at others, clear and light with cold that cuts to the bone—all worth feeling.

it's a good day for musing: on my enigmatic child who never grows up; on the toys he's loved and chewed for years; on his wordlessness and seizures; on his peculiarity and fleeting moments of normalcy; on his steadfast and loving behavior; on having just had one of his best months, seizure-wise, in two years; on beauty in all its forms, understanding, forgiveness, gratitude and hope.

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