just put calvin on the school van. got a strange mix of feelings. a tightness in my chest. a grumbling in my stomach. a quivering in my nerves. a lightness in my limbs. all at once i'm feeling sick, sad, proud, anxious, free, hopeful, grateful, elated.

calvin's new teacher, paul, whom i like very much, is riding with him to school today, making sure he keeps his mask and glasses on his face instead of chewing them. i sent in several bags including everything but the kitchen sink—two kinds of diapers, a packet of masks, a box of vinyl gloves, a package of wipes, two sets of clean clothes, a bottle of prune juice, a pair of backup eye glasses, a handful of kerchiefs, and a lunch made for the man-sized appetite of my eighty-five pound tyke.

calvin will return home from school just after noon. in the meantime, i plan to finish my coffee, walk smellie, pull some weeds, water a few new plantings, prune a bit, mow the lawn, relocate a rhododendron, take a shower, eat a bowl of oatmeal, write a little, and spend some time just wandering aimlessly around the yard i love so much while dreaming of the possibilities.

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