lonely road

When channeling my inner Joni Mitchell, and with the exception of a few lines which I've taken the creative license to omit below, I can imagine having written this bittersweet song—All I Want—about me and Calvin. When life mimics art, it can be a killer.

I am on a lonely road and I am traveling
Traveling, traveling, traveling
Looking for something, what can it be
Oh I hate you some, I hate you some, I love you some
Oh I love you when I forget about me

I want to be strong I want to laugh along
I want to belong to the living 
Alive, alive, I want to get up and jive
I want to wreck my stockings in some juke box dive
Do you want—do you want—do you want to dance with me baby
Well, come on

All I really really want our love to do
Is to bring out the best in me and in you too
I want to talk to you
I want to renew you again and again
Applause, applause—Life is our cause
When I think of your kisses my mind see-saws
Do you see—do you see—do you see how you hurt me baby
So I hurt you too
Then we both get so blue

I am on a lonely road and I am traveling
Looking for the key to set me free
Oh the jealousy, the greed is the unraveling
It's the unraveling
And it undoes all the joy that could be
I want to have fun, I want to shine like the sun
I want to be the one that you want to see
Want to write you a love letter
I want to make you feel better
I want to make you feel free

2017, photo by Michael Kolster

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