lonely road

When channeling my inner Joni Mitchell, and with the exception of a few lines which I've taken the creative license to omit below, I can imagine having written this bittersweet song—All I Want—about me and Calvin. When life mimics art, it can be a killer.

 

I am on a lonely road and I am traveling

Traveling, traveling, traveling

Looking for something, what can it be

Oh I hate you some, I hate you some, I love you some

Oh I love you when I forget about me

I want to be strong I want to laugh along

I want to belong to the living 

Alive, alive, I want to get up and jive

I want to wreck my stockings in some juke box dive

Do you want—do you want—do you want to dance with me baby

Well, come on

All I really really want our love to do

Is to bring out the best in me and in you too

I want to talk to you

I want to renew you again and again

Applause, applause—Life is our cause

When I think of your kisses my mind see-saws

Do you see—do you see—do you see how you hurt me baby

So I hurt you too

Then we both get so blue

I am on a lonely road and I am traveling

Looking for the key to set me free

Oh the jealousy, the greed is the unraveling

It's the unraveling

And it undoes all the joy that could be

I want to have fun, I want to shine like the sun

I want to be the one that you want to see

Want to write you a love letter

I want to make you feel better

I want to make you feel free

2017, photo by Michael Kolster