Wanted: In-home nurse who has his/her shit together. Part time. Must be punctual, reliable, professional, intuitive, confident, helpful, conscientious, receptive, strong, patient, understanding, focused, observant, vigilant, respectful, transparent and honest. Must like children and dogs and tolerate watchful mothers who work from home. Must be well versed in the art of mindfulness and not averse to monotony or dirty diapers. Preferably available to work some Saturdays and some evenings in a comfortable home surrounded by beautiful gardens with an adorable, affectionate, non-verbal, on-the-go, significantly disabled thirteen-year-old child with intractable epilepsy named Calvin.