fourth morning

On four consecutive mornings, Calvin woke to a seizure between three-thirty and four o'clock. The first, last Thursday, was a grand mal; all the others were partial (focal) seizures. If it weren't for the fact that the first two seizures happened before I started giving him my latest batch of THCA oil— using an entirely new strain of cannabis than I have used for over five years—I would have blamed the oil. But I can't blame the oil, at least not yet. I can, however, blame the epilepsy, which is effed-up shit, a moving target, a heinous disorder, usually a life sentence for patients and their families.

Still, I can be grateful—my THCA oil tested very close to the concentration I had targeted, despite the fact that I did not know for certain the amount of THCA in the new batch of Mandarin Cookies flower I used, nor did I know the amount of THCA in the resin I extracted from it. I can thank my pal Janel from Palmetto Harmony for walking me through the math used to calculate, predict and plan the correct concentration. I can also be grateful that Calvin has been extremely calm these past few days, smiling, compliant, affectionate and super easy to take care of. Maybe it's the Mandarin Cookies at work!

Photo by Michael Kolster


  1. God, it's never ending and you are one remarkable COOKIE to keep at it. I am sending you all the love.

  2. Any expletive you want to use for epilepsy can't be bad enough. I wish I knew something to help you. Seizure Mama has been through a lot, but it took us twenty years to find a big enough band aid for Rose. I won't even try to decipher all your concerns. I hope you have enough support to stay sane. Get some help. Bless you.