giving it another go (cbd oil)

calvin went six days between grand mals. not nearly long enough. maybe it's the infection. maybe it's the antibiotic. maybe it's just the fucking epilepsy; (sorry for the expletive, ma, but seriously.) six to eight grand mals per month is too damn many. years ago he'd have just one a month. back when he was little. back when he was on high doses of three mind-altering antiepieptic drugs. back when we had to peel him off the ceiling. back when he couldn't sleep. nearly stopped eating. couldn't walk without falling. had to wear a safety harness. back when the drugs impaired his already lagging progress and caused eternal restlessness:

akathisia: [pronounced: [ak-ah-thÄ­´zhah] noun | 1. a state of agitation, distress, and restlessness that is an occasional side-effect of antipsychotic and antidepressant [and antiepileptic] drugs [and/or their withdrawal, especially benzodiazepines.] 2. a movement disorder characterized by a feeling of inner restlessness and a compelling need or urge to be in constant movement [despite fatigue.] people with akathisia experience inner restlessness which causes them to fidget, rock, pace and panic [and sometimes end their life as a result.]

the seizures keep coming in clusters over two or more consecutive days. he almost never seems to suffer isolated ones. it's why his monthly numbers are so high. last night we went back to trying harmony cbd cannabis oil. on calvin's first go three years ago, he went forty days with no grand mals. sadly, he never regained the same control. so we suspended it. but since the pharmaceuticals have so many wicked side effects, we're giving cbd another go. he hasn't had a second seizure since yesterday morning; perhaps that's promising. too soon to know. crossing fingers. knocking on wood.

Back when, photo by Michael Kolster

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