my apologies

Dear World,

Please accept my apologies for my recent less-than-composed behavior. It has been a rough row for me to hoe these past several days, weeks, months, years raising Calvin and dealing with the resulting significant and chronic sleep deprivation which colors my world. In trying to hold things together with Calvin's condition and limitations these past fourteen years, often the little things can, on the outside, seem most vexing.

Since Calvin’s birth, I have become someone who does not always work to conceal my true feelings in order to make life more comfortable for others. Life with a child who has such serious disabilities and chronic epilepsy has proven to be quite a hardship, so much so that I find the stresses and disappointments difficult, even unnecessary, to mask. Perhaps congeniality is paramount, but I wonder if being a slave to it above other concerns or emotions might eat me alive. Still, usually, I try. Most of the time, I hope, I am upbeat and kind.

Suffice to say I am sorry for being grumpy and curt in our recent encounters. Thank you especially for any patience and kindness you show me. It means the world.


Photo by Michael Kolster


  1. Never apologize for being human.

  2. Thank you for being real. xoxo

  3. Christy dont ever apologize for what is going on in your life. Alot of it cannot be controlled and it also is not your fault. I questioned WHY I dont know how many times after Shawn and Tom were born. I never really got an answer and I learned to accept it. The hell with everyone who didnt know me or my family. We didnt need them. We find out who our true friends are and the hell with everyone else. You and Michael are doing a great job. We cant work miracles and we learn to take life one day at a time. Love you 3 and you know where I am if you are having an off day. Hugs and a shoulder to cry on are always available at Hannaford when I am there. Betsy Moyer

  4. You are such an amazing human being, Christy. I’m grumpy most of the time, and I have 2 healthy dogs and a husband who treats me better than I could ever imagine. I don’t have a reason for my grumpiness, but you... Well, you could teach me a thing or two for sure about being grateful. Life is a gift that we don’t all appreciate like we should. No one would ever say the same about you.

  5. I am you. Thank you for speaking what I have been feeling far more eloquently; I am mentally and physically exhausted, yet grateful for everyday.