stars and epiphanies

At times, particularly in the day or two before a grand mal seizure, taking care of my son is dizzying—the shrieking, the sun gazing, the mania, the insomnia, the banging head and grinding teeth and kicking feet. For the past six days I've been seeing too many stars, the blackened kind I pen in my daily journal to indicate harbingers of Calvin's impending seizures. But since I've been giving him doses of my new concentrated homemade THCA cannabis tincture just before midnight and again at three, the seizures I've expected have not yet taken place.

Eleven days seizure free is by no means a record, though it is a longer spate than of late. My gut is telling me that the THCA is doing to his nighttime seizures what it does for his daytime grand mals, that is keeping them at bay. The problem is that I loathe to be obliged long-term to waking twice a night to give Calvin medicine; to the contrary, I need more sleep.

But I've resigned myself to this regimen for now and until his next seizure occurs, which no doubt it eventually will. Then, my plan is to switch CBD cannabis oils from a 20:1 (CBD:THC) Haleigh's Hope to a 15:1 ratio. My thinking is that by giving him slightly more tetrahydrocannabinol twice a day, without having to wake at eleven and three, his seizures might abate.

And if this strategy doesn't yield the desired effect, I'll have to put on my thinking cap again and hope for the next epiphany.

Photo by Michael Kolster

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