yesterday and today

Yesterday. Terrible, maniacal screaming. No stopping it. Blue hands. Blotchy complexion. Banging and rubbing his forehead till his hair dreads then breaks off. Mad fingering. Kicking feet. More screaming. Devilish grimace. Grinding teeth again. Crazy. What the F is going on? Can’t figure it out. Is this a seizure? Is it drug withdrawal or drug toxicity? Is he trying to tell me something? If so, what? Is he hallucinating? Keeps wanting to be picked up. About at the end of my rope.

Today. Slept pretty well. Awoke twice to drink some water. Back to sleep easy. Thumb in mouth. Got up at five. Played happily in crib. In bed with us. Huge smiles for mama and daddy. Lots of laughing. Crazy good hugs. No eye poking at all. No fingering. Loving our kisses. Some more huge smiles. Wonderful belly-laughs and giggles. Getting stronger. More hugs. Happy at breakfast. Loving blackberries. Good work using spoon. Warm, rosy complexion. Giggles for daddy. Today is a new day.

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